fucking expectations pissing me off!!!

it's already may.
assignments keep coming. (ok. not really. it's more like, rotting at the side of my desk waiting to be finished while deadlines looming and haunting me like some motherfucking nightmares.)
the flags were done and being the mascot guy sure was fun until you saw the vids and pics of you goofing around, looking stupid.

i am somewhat hating sports right now.
fine, we won, but i didn't get to contribute any medals and that is just plain DEPRESSING...
"why the fuck did i stop?"
"why can't i go faster?"
"why didn't i run harder?"
"why didn't i train?"
"why this?"
"why that?"
"wh-
FUCK IT
what's done is done and it's either i try better next time or avoid it all-together.

and sorry for being such an ass, chief editor.
yes. one of the 3 reasons i don't feel like taking part in any of the meetings you've made is i just don't really adore your face.
.
.
.
.
wait...
it isn' about you at all ma'am. it's just-
WE DON'T HAVE ANY FUCKING CUTE GIRLS IN THE CLUB!!!!!!!!!!
go recruit some and i'll be gladly pouring out my ideas just for the illusions of having any chance to go inside their/her pants.

speaking of cute girls,
WHY THE FUCK DID I IGNORE THEM????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OMG!!!!
ALL OF THEM WERE THERE JUST WAITING FOR ME T-
*MMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmMMMMMMMMM*
(that's a muffling sound there. a frustrated, angry one.)

all these while i've always thought life couldn't be any harder with my desktop busted but NO.
my fucking internet just chose to offline in the middle of my fucking assignment weeks.
TAMER BABI TAMER BABI TAMER BABI TAMER BABI TAMER BABI TAMER BABI TAMER BABI TAMER BABI TAMER BABI TAMER BABI TAMER BABI TAMER BABI TAMER BABI TAMER BABI TAMER BABI TAMER BABI TAMER BABI TAMER BABI TAMER BABI TAMER BABI TAMER BABI TAMER BABI TAMER BABI!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111
sial...

parents are always everyone's specials. (except those with fucked up ones.)
try to appreciate them more, me.
like, calling them once a week, at least?
is it THAT hard to do?
(of course not only that. you(me) still have exams and things. they do EXPECT something out of you(me).)
*sigh*

wow.
my life sure sucks.
umm... maybe that's an overstatement there.
it just looks like it sucks.
sounds like it sucks.
it's not. really. ok? (doubt i would ever get it.)
wish i could learn to post nice things.
and pictures.
ughh... i hate taking pics.
.
.
.
that's a lie.
i just hate keeping them.