i admit i'm not a good teacher.
i don't have the ability to construct things in my mind.
most of the time, i'll just let my brain talks. whatever comes, goes out.
okay, not really my brain coz most of the time, my mood talks.
second thought, not really my mood talks. at least, not actually (and by that, not literally. i mean, not the literally "actually").
it's more like-
fuck that. malas nak explain.
point is?
out of 3 presentations, only 1 goes well.
pharmacology? sial la ko yaser. you fucked up the order. fuck you.
anatomy? sial la korang profs. i know it's late but try to LISTEN to what i'm gonna say for fuck sake. but seriously, i like how u guys tortured my teammates.
biochemistry? smooth...
and i've always used the enthusiastic, mad scientist style when presenting.
you know, going all out agitatedly about things i've found.
or was it like a 10 year old nerd with his bottled ants in a show and tell?
whatever, i found it doesn't quite work out well.
or should i say, doesn't always work out well.
but that's the easiest persona i could use... T_T
oh well...
2 more to go.
physiology and microbiology.
*sigh*
what a drag...
and babi la ko tamer. i pay for this internet so please don't fuck up the line.
don't mind me. -_-
sometimes, i do wish people would be talking about me. don't care what will it be about but just mention my name please...
though most of the time, being invisible is the best way to go through everyday life.
not that i don't have self esteem or some other motivational crap.
just that it's easier to ignore other things and being selfish when i'm invisible.
sounds pathetic eh?
let's rework that shall we?
goddmanit!
how i wish i have an invisible potion and some amnesia magicathingie so i could do anything i want without facing the consequences.
dr. jekyll and mr. hyde.
now that's evil.
too bad you got fucked up by that chemist store. lulz!
what? hollowman?
he's just a stupid pervert.
though most of the time, being invisible is the best way to go through everyday life.
not that i don't have self esteem or some other motivational crap.
just that it's easier to ignore other things and being selfish when i'm invisible.
sounds pathetic eh?
let's rework that shall we?
goddmanit!
how i wish i have an invisible potion and some amnesia magicathingie so i could do anything i want without facing the consequences.
dr. jekyll and mr. hyde.
now that's evil.
too bad you got fucked up by that chemist store. lulz!
what? hollowman?
he's just a stupid pervert.
the grass is always greener on the other side...
fuck that.
its pastel colored. taste awful.
changes changes changes.
i hate changes. but i change.
i can. i could.
but i don't and don't wanna.
sometimes i do. i should.
exceptions exceptions exceptions.
always an exception.
sometimes exceptions.
procrastination procrastination.
from exceptions. bad exceptions.
changes that just. wouldn't. change!
bad caffeine! stop twitching.
NO! don't go yet!
there's still The Exam!
augh...
decisions decisions decisions.
to change or not to change.
to except or not to except.
whatever...
knock knock.
fuck off.
its pastel colored. taste awful.
changes changes changes.
i hate changes. but i change.
i can. i could.
but i don't and don't wanna.
sometimes i do. i should.
exceptions exceptions exceptions.
always an exception.
sometimes exceptions.
procrastination procrastination.
from exceptions. bad exceptions.
changes that just. wouldn't. change!
bad caffeine! stop twitching.
NO! don't go yet!
there's still The Exam!
augh...
decisions decisions decisions.
to change or not to change.
to except or not to except.
whatever...
knock knock.
fuck off.
another caffeine induced, pre-exam pondering.
i've just realized many people around me have their own blog.
and i felt a somewhat, conformed feeling.
and it totally grossed me out.
conformity.
had this little chat with a psychology student friend about it.
and i denied it. at first.
wtf?!
a subject learned by these psycho students and i've denied what they had been learning since when i don't know.
ok, fine. i lost in that debate.
i do seek for conformity.
it just that i don't really care of what those people really want to conform about.
fuck em. who cares?
and yet i just felt conformed.
Nooooooooooooooooooooooo..................................
damnit! 4 more hours till exam.
THE WAITING IS KILLING ME!
sial la redbull/bison/whatever ni.
waktu aku nak stay up dia tak jalan.
the moment i don't want it, there me go trembling and awake!
self note: buy bison instead of red bull. save LE3.
and i felt a somewhat, conformed feeling.
and it totally grossed me out.
conformity.
had this little chat with a psychology student friend about it.
and i denied it. at first.
wtf?!
a subject learned by these psycho students and i've denied what they had been learning since when i don't know.
ok, fine. i lost in that debate.
i do seek for conformity.
it just that i don't really care of what those people really want to conform about.
fuck em. who cares?
and yet i just felt conformed.
Nooooooooooooooooooooooo..................................
damnit! 4 more hours till exam.
THE WAITING IS KILLING ME!
sial la redbull/bison/whatever ni.
waktu aku nak stay up dia tak jalan.
the moment i don't want it, there me go trembling and awake!
self note: buy bison instead of red bull. save LE3.
fuck my previous posts today
and i know this would totally bust my anonymity but
thanks ika!
your blog just gave me loads of links that lead to my subjects for my current social observation.
fuck this. exam in 5 hours and i can still waste time on my bored projec-
oh...
habis study dah.
GOD!!! PLEASE LET ME RETAIN ALL THOSE KNOWLEDGE FOR TODAY'S TORTURE SESSION!
(baru skarang ingat tuhan. subuh tak nak bangun...)
thanks ika!
your blog just gave me loads of links that lead to my subjects for my current social observation.
fuck this. exam in 5 hours and i can still waste time on my bored projec-
oh...
habis study dah.
GOD!!! PLEASE LET ME RETAIN ALL THOSE KNOWLEDGE FOR TODAY'S TORTURE SESSION!
(baru skarang ingat tuhan. subuh tak nak bangun...)
and i thought she would be an interesting subject for my next observation
turns out not.
at least on a quick, lazy, second-thought glance.
now only left that guy.
though he is not really a good subject.
i would risk myself being assumed gay. (not with the kind of society i'm in. TOO BIG of a risk. senang je kena fitnah. ok. that was an assumption. :P)
and this particular subject is not really the kind who i could get to know without jeopardizing my intention. (not that i care of.)
well.
at least it would be a good social training.
now, how should i do it...
XD
take that fuckers!!!
full of assumption shits!
at least on a quick, lazy, second-thought glance.
now only left that guy.
though he is not really a good subject.
i would risk myself being assumed gay. (not with the kind of society i'm in. TOO BIG of a risk. senang je kena fitnah. ok. that was an assumption. :P)
and this particular subject is not really the kind who i could get to know without jeopardizing my intention. (not that i care of.)
well.
at least it would be a good social training.
now, how should i do it...
XD
take that fuckers!!!
full of assumption shits!
how i couldn't help but RAGE!!!
something insignificant.
BUT...
when there were secrets involved,
FUCK YOU!!!
no.
screw me!
should have seen that coming.
lul!
how hypocrite is that?
a selfish bastard who took seriously a stranger's opinion. (not even a voiced out one.)
oh wai-
honest pulak dah dia...
(hey! just being honest to myself. :P)
BUT...
when there were secrets involved,
FUCK YOU!!!
no.
screw me!
should have seen that coming.
lul!
how hypocrite is that?
a selfish bastard who took seriously a stranger's opinion. (not even a voiced out one.)
oh wai-
honest pulak dah dia...
(hey! just being honest to myself. :P)
CONFESSION TIME!!!
i hate rich people coz i ain't one.
i hate powerful people coz i don't get their power. (i mean, authority kinda power. not superpower power.)
i hate it when people near me are better than me.
how i wish i could be born into some kind of royal family, or have a not so distance royal blood relationship.
but that could means like i'm somewhat disowning my family...
no!
better idea.
how i wish i could be a dictator of the world!
not necessarily forever. a week would be nice...
i don't know what would revolutionaries feel when plan fails but for certain,
i do wish i could feel what they would feel (or felt) when there is/was revolution!
viva la resistance!
lul! weird huh?
i hate powerful people coz i don't get their power. (i mean, authority kinda power. not superpower power.)
i hate it when people near me are better than me.
how i wish i could be born into some kind of royal family, or have a not so distance royal blood relationship.
but that could means like i'm somewhat disowning my family...
no!
better idea.
how i wish i could be a dictator of the world!
not necessarily forever. a week would be nice...
i don't know what would revolutionaries feel when plan fails but for certain,
i do wish i could feel what they would feel (or felt) when there is/was revolution!
viva la resistance!
lul! weird huh?
i miss my psp...
nazmi! bagi balik!!!
funny tho how being sick can do lots of things to you that you thought wouldn't have been possible.
for example, sexual drive.
i do feel MUCH less horny when i don't have any appetite and spinning head.
for 3 days.
and i realized i've been skipping more on deep thinking (lul! more like daydreaming) and instead, more urge to do assignments and actually do it.
ok, not really do it. maybe till the brink of doing them.
though the rantings just wouldn't stop.
and I WANNA USE MY WASHING MACHINE!!!!
1700 cash just flown away and i still can't use them to wash my wears.
ape lagi la yang korang nak buat.
funny tho how being sick can do lots of things to you that you thought wouldn't have been possible.
for example, sexual drive.
i do feel MUCH less horny when i don't have any appetite and spinning head.
for 3 days.
and i realized i've been skipping more on deep thinking (lul! more like daydreaming) and instead, more urge to do assignments and actually do it.
ok, not really do it. maybe till the brink of doing them.
though the rantings just wouldn't stop.
and I WANNA USE MY WASHING MACHINE!!!!
1700 cash just flown away and i still can't use them to wash my wears.
ape lagi la yang korang nak buat.
tanggang, oh tanggang.
today it's my mom's birthday and it was her who smsed me about it.
derhakanya aku... T_T
no seriously, i do feel sad.
09 december = mom's
18 february = dad's
?? may = nazmi's
?? march = udin's
?? ?? = ika's
how much more screwed up can i be?
i couldn't even remember my family's birthdays...
only time could tell when will i abandon my own birthday.
and sick sick sick.
why must out of all days, it just had to be today.
derhakanya aku... T_T
no seriously, i do feel sad.
09 december = mom's
18 february = dad's
?? may = nazmi's
?? march = udin's
?? ?? = ika's
how much more screwed up can i be?
i couldn't even remember my family's birthdays...
only time could tell when will i abandon my own birthday.
and sick sick sick.
why must out of all days, it just had to be today.
kenapa saya ???
rasa macam dipergunakan?
duh. you are being used. that's why.
the next thing i know is i'm somewhat a sponsor of this open house.
dude... i really appreciate it when you were there that time and having you as a friend but please...
that is why i don't like getting too friendly to anybody.
that first favor will always lead to another and as i'm not really an assertive guy, easy to guess what is next.
oh well. things come and go.
shrug it off and i'll just forget about it.
wait... kinda scary thinking about it.
that's why i can't remember those simple modern math stuffs.
that's also why i don't learn from past mistakes.
time for revisions...
and those frickin assignments.
duh. you are being used. that's why.
the next thing i know is i'm somewhat a sponsor of this open house.
dude... i really appreciate it when you were there that time and having you as a friend but please...
that is why i don't like getting too friendly to anybody.
that first favor will always lead to another and as i'm not really an assertive guy, easy to guess what is next.
oh well. things come and go.
shrug it off and i'll just forget about it.
wait... kinda scary thinking about it.
that's why i can't remember those simple modern math stuffs.
that's also why i don't learn from past mistakes.
time for revisions...
and those frickin assignments.
no shit...
i give up.
fine. i admit that those girly movies r mega boring unless u watch it with a girl.
i know not all women are like that. (there. no stereotyping here, right?)
but the girls i've met always said "oh! that one was nice! really. watch it!"
and i did. with them and without them.
what i found interesting is after WE watched em.
the after-movie debate.
it's fun watching them defending their view, the movie's view, in futile.
notice the "WE"? yeah. no "we" in "i watch that movie alone".
and for the first time, i watched house m.d. with wikipedia in the background.
i noticed the pattern would be something like patients with weird syndrome, then they diagnosed it with some common disease.
turned out to be some rare disease, then it's actually another common disease with just some rare complications or just the first disease they diagnosed.
and the back plot, i find them quite distracting.
maybe that's what made the show entertaining and all to the layman crowds.
whatever. still a good show though.
now that i mentioned "show", i've dreamed of joining a cosplay party.
and i chose to wear hogwart's uniform. ravenclaw.
the strange thing was, i said something i would find too douchy for me to be caught dead saying those.
and i realized it was a dream because the girl crowd i've been having a conversation with were like, laughed and aww-ed.
so weird.
fine. i admit that those girly movies r mega boring unless u watch it with a girl.
i know not all women are like that. (there. no stereotyping here, right?)
but the girls i've met always said "oh! that one was nice! really. watch it!"
and i did. with them and without them.
what i found interesting is after WE watched em.
the after-movie debate.
it's fun watching them defending their view, the movie's view, in futile.
notice the "WE"? yeah. no "we" in "i watch that movie alone".
and for the first time, i watched house m.d. with wikipedia in the background.
i noticed the pattern would be something like patients with weird syndrome, then they diagnosed it with some common disease.
turned out to be some rare disease, then it's actually another common disease with just some rare complications or just the first disease they diagnosed.
and the back plot, i find them quite distracting.
maybe that's what made the show entertaining and all to the layman crowds.
whatever. still a good show though.
now that i mentioned "show", i've dreamed of joining a cosplay party.
and i chose to wear hogwart's uniform. ravenclaw.
the strange thing was, i said something i would find too douchy for me to be caught dead saying those.
and i realized it was a dream because the girl crowd i've been having a conversation with were like, laughed and aww-ed.
so weird.
im weird coz i...
trust that guy?
like what he said were all believable. doesn't mean i have to be a jerk, right?
besides, it's fun when he making a fool outta himself.
fancy relatively old songs?
like i care what's mainstream. i listen to whatever I find interesting.
my ears. who cares?
wear weirdly?
i just like being a bit unique. just like everybody else with self confidence.
pronounce car-foor or however u spell it as care-4?
minor details~
have opinions?
talk to the mirror.
it's funny when people were being judgmental.
okay. not funny.
just interesting.
nobody likes being critiqued by others. :P
talking about interesting, i do find trying different ways of interacting with people, especially strangers, specifically females, is one.
fuck.
can't imagine how many things i've missed in my last 8 years.
and sorry adam young.
i just find 2 songs out of your 3 albums are nice.
glad itune sells songs separately. would be sucked to have to buy 2 albums just for those.
and again, i'm too lazy to be creative on the title.
like what he said were all believable. doesn't mean i have to be a jerk, right?
besides, it's fun when he making a fool outta himself.
fancy relatively old songs?
like i care what's mainstream. i listen to whatever I find interesting.
my ears. who cares?
wear weirdly?
i just like being a bit unique. just like everybody else with self confidence.
pronounce car-foor or however u spell it as care-4?
minor details~
have opinions?
talk to the mirror.
it's funny when people were being judgmental.
okay. not funny.
just interesting.
nobody likes being critiqued by others. :P
talking about interesting, i do find trying different ways of interacting with people, especially strangers, specifically females, is one.
fuck.
can't imagine how many things i've missed in my last 8 years.
and sorry adam young.
i just find 2 songs out of your 3 albums are nice.
glad itune sells songs separately. would be sucked to have to buy 2 albums just for those.
and again, i'm too lazy to be creative on the title.
EUREKA!!!
found out that whenever i cut the gateway, a minute after that and its only me who can connect.
just now that guy was walking out of his room with the frustration aura.
HELL YEAH!!!
fuck you!
and i should really snap some new pics for my fb or else i wont have anything to show off while revisiting old crushes.
damn emo-mood for making me delete my profile pics.
just now that guy was walking out of his room with the frustration aura.
HELL YEAH!!!
fuck you!
and i should really snap some new pics for my fb or else i wont have anything to show off while revisiting old crushes.
damn emo-mood for making me delete my profile pics.
playin rough eh?
if i can't have it, neither can ya~~
and wow.
i've been back to my old unmotivated, gaming self.
how do i know? (except duh, it's me)
i don't care how do i appear anymore.
and somehow, i feel kinda mixed about this.
a part of me feel comfortable and another part goes on "HI ALERT!!! CODE RED!!!".
and there the fuck goes again.
hell! i could dance all night long.
mum got admitted into hospital last week because of excessive bleeding.
but she's alright now.
i just hope she really is and always will...
just felt like putting this in here~~
and wow.
i've been back to my old unmotivated, gaming self.
how do i know? (except duh, it's me)
i don't care how do i appear anymore.
and somehow, i feel kinda mixed about this.
a part of me feel comfortable and another part goes on "HI ALERT!!! CODE RED!!!".
and there the fuck goes again.
hell! i could dance all night long.
mum got admitted into hospital last week because of excessive bleeding.
but she's alright now.
i just hope she really is and always will...
just felt like putting this in here~~
shocker!!!
FUCK U DUDE!!!
IT'S BEEN A FUCKING LONG TIME!!!
and here i thought you were a lost cause.
IT'S BEEN A FUCKING LONG TIME!!!
and here i thought you were a lost cause.
hey Owl City!
you've just gotten yourself a new fan.
actually, not really a fan cause i'm stealing your albums as i post this.
if only i could get my hand on a working, legit financial card. debit or credit.
actually, not really a fan cause i'm stealing your albums as i post this.
if only i could get my hand on a working, legit financial card. debit or credit.
i don't know anymore which element in a girl i'll actually get attracted to more.
her personality or looks?
well, it's kinda a moot question anyway.
i do want both.
i find looks pretty important for the first step of any relationships.
first impression do count. i just don't give a damn to out of lots of people out there unless she could stands out.
umm... the paragraph above sounds kinda wrong.
point is, i just like to notice pretty girls.
but then again, there has been several instances where i just like the girl because she has these, cheery, happy go lucky personality. and there were also some who have some kind of charismatic and egoistic aura around her. there were also those weird mysterious girl who always have these strange but fun thoughts that made me wonder, "what the hell was in her mind?"
oh...
now i remember. all of those girls were the pretty ones.
i don't have pictures to prove that but who cares the minor details?
eventually, i'll just get bored anyway.
and yes. i'm too lazy to think of a title for this post.
her personality or looks?
well, it's kinda a moot question anyway.
i do want both.
i find looks pretty important for the first step of any relationships.
first impression do count. i just don't give a damn to out of lots of people out there unless she could stands out.
umm... the paragraph above sounds kinda wrong.
point is, i just like to notice pretty girls.
but then again, there has been several instances where i just like the girl because she has these, cheery, happy go lucky personality. and there were also some who have some kind of charismatic and egoistic aura around her. there were also those weird mysterious girl who always have these strange but fun thoughts that made me wonder, "what the hell was in her mind?"
oh...
now i remember. all of those girls were the pretty ones.
i don't have pictures to prove that but who cares the minor details?
eventually, i'll just get bored anyway.
and yes. i'm too lazy to think of a title for this post.
monomonomonomonomonomonomono...
heh.
looking back at all those emo posts i've made just disgusted me.
i even feel like deleting them.
"what the fuck is "being single and unavailable"?
sounds like some pathetic dude got dumped and then making an excuse so he wouldn't sounds all that of a loser."
"so what?"
"so what what? like it was your first time."
"well... not trying to sound like one but can't i at least savor the feeling? what's wrong being emo? what's wrong being a loser?"
"nothing is wrong. except the loser part. just don't go around, mentioning it over and over and over again. fucking loser~~~"
"whatever."
"screw you."
"nu~~nu-nu~~~~"
oh ya... i'm waiting for the people down there to yell "GOALL!!!"
please let there be a holida-
ALL RIGHT!!!!!
there they go!!!
please be one...
looking back at all those emo posts i've made just disgusted me.
i even feel like deleting them.
"what the fuck is "being single and unavailable"?
sounds like some pathetic dude got dumped and then making an excuse so he wouldn't sounds all that of a loser."
"so what?"
"so what what? like it was your first time."
"well... not trying to sound like one but can't i at least savor the feeling? what's wrong being emo? what's wrong being a loser?"
"nothing is wrong. except the loser part. just don't go around, mentioning it over and over and over again. fucking loser~~~"
"whatever."
"screw you."
"nu~~nu-nu~~~~"
oh ya... i'm waiting for the people down there to yell "GOALL!!!"
please let there be a holida-
ALL RIGHT!!!!!
there they go!!!
please be one...
null and void
never thought going back to being single and unavailable would be dull like nothing.
i'm not really good in class. not really fond of the lecturers.
i have nothing to get excited or worried about in class.
but life is SO MUCH EASIER this way.
oh well.
whatever will be, will be.
yeah... the unknown tomorrow is always there to anticipate...
:)
ps: wow. optimism sucks.feel crappier than ever...
i'm not really good in class. not really fond of the lecturers.
i have nothing to get excited or worried about in class.
but life is SO MUCH EASIER this way.
oh well.
whatever will be, will be.
yeah... the unknown tomorrow is always there to anticipate...
:)
ps: wow. optimism sucks.feel crappier than ever...
god! have mercy!
a boring hell like that once per week?!
how i missed my secondary school life...
and i hate irresponsible idiots.
i don't care how you wanna use the world but please,
know how to clean up your own mess.
pandai buat, pandai tanggung.
pandai guna, pandai kemas la.
how i missed my secondary school life...
and i hate irresponsible idiots.
i don't care how you wanna use the world but please,
know how to clean up your own mess.
pandai buat, pandai tanggung.
pandai guna, pandai kemas la.
somebody cal 911!!~~~
egp9 for a 250ml can of carbofucked, energy sewerage?!!
fucking ripoff...
konon 100plus la.
tak sedap.
now take all my coins.
and where was i in 2009?
fucking missed lots of things.
fucking ripoff...
konon 100plus la.
tak sedap.
now take all my coins.
and where was i in 2009?
fucking missed lots of things.
move on...
me and her are so over. (and so are with some of her friends. lol!)
major screwed up.
but, whatever.
if they do matter something to me, i would realize it sooner or later.
now to find someone that wanna buy my speaker.
and focus on assignments.
another lesson of life learned.
eat breakfast.
fuck shit. i'm almost passed out this afternoon. (or shouldn't it be last afternoon since it's already pass 12am?)
major screwed up.
but, whatever.
if they do matter something to me, i would realize it sooner or later.
now to find someone that wanna buy my speaker.
and focus on assignments.
another lesson of life learned.
eat breakfast.
fuck shit. i'm almost passed out this afternoon. (or shouldn't it be last afternoon since it's already pass 12am?)
09/11/09
not every girl that talk to you wants you.
don't annoy people you don't really know out of boredom.
never trust the bank clerk.
look around before buying anything.
do not eat spicy food if there were presentations on the next morning.
french is a type of polite, dirty talk.
circle of life. whichever side you were on, it always rolling downhill.
and always put "folder views" on "details". fuck thumbnails. are you crazy?
a hell of a day.
don't annoy people you don't really know out of boredom.
never trust the bank clerk.
look around before buying anything.
do not eat spicy food if there were presentations on the next morning.
french is a type of polite, dirty talk.
circle of life. whichever side you were on, it always rolling downhill.
and always put "folder views" on "details". fuck thumbnails. are you crazy?
a hell of a day.
cozynye~~~
it feels great to have a small house.
you don't need to walk much to go from here to there.
much easier to maintain, as in cleaning up the whole house.
but there are always times where you just wish this part or that part of the house is a little bit bigger.
you don't need to walk much to go from here to there.
much easier to maintain, as in cleaning up the whole house.
but there are always times where you just wish this part or that part of the house is a little bit bigger.
a ludicrous night of
ME!!! lol!
i've did many stupid things today. (even this sentence sounds stupid)
one of the most prominent ones was dinner.
ate at romansa and ordered a "nasi goreng kimau".
as usual, spicy. my iced tea wasn't enough to relief me of my suffering. and so was my friend.
we asked for 2 "ais kosong". few minutes later he came with a tray of 2 glasses of ice cubes.
we waited for a jug of water to hover over the glasses and pouring in the goodness.
he left. no water or anything.
stupefied. FUCKING WEIRD.
ok fine. just some miscommunication.
didn't mean to insult him or anything, we just let it go.
yep. 2 glasses of ICE CUBES only.
but, suffered too much, we did ask for water.
he came to us. looking pretty concerned with our dog panting, tongue stuck out face.
we asked, "bang. air kosong."
"air apa?"
"air kosong. takde perisa"
"oh... air puteh..."
"ha. apa-apa la"
he stuttered back, "oh ho. ma'alish ya."
i swear he looked at the 2 glasses of ice cubes before he stuttered that.
few minutes later, on a tray, our savior.
ONE FUCKING GLASS OF WATER.
WHAT THE FUCK!!???!!
i thought,"how much dumber can you be?".
and reflexively, i chuckled.
but i seriously didn't mean it!
no, joking. was really meant as a rolling-on-my-ass laugh.
common sense dude...
2 glass of just ice cubes and 2 panting people.
ok. i know i'm bad at story telling but whatever.
next breaking news!
i've just brought in some dude between me and her.
just hope this guy is the right one to clear this up.
and she still ignoring me.
and a nightwalk along the mediterranean sea was breathtakingly beautiful.
throw away the annoying arab dudes and alexandria would be perfect.
i've did many stupid things today. (even this sentence sounds stupid)
one of the most prominent ones was dinner.
ate at romansa and ordered a "nasi goreng kimau".
as usual, spicy. my iced tea wasn't enough to relief me of my suffering. and so was my friend.
we asked for 2 "ais kosong". few minutes later he came with a tray of 2 glasses of ice cubes.
we waited for a jug of water to hover over the glasses and pouring in the goodness.
he left. no water or anything.
stupefied. FUCKING WEIRD.
ok fine. just some miscommunication.
didn't mean to insult him or anything, we just let it go.
yep. 2 glasses of ICE CUBES only.
but, suffered too much, we did ask for water.
he came to us. looking pretty concerned with our dog panting, tongue stuck out face.
we asked, "bang. air kosong."
"air apa?"
"air kosong. takde perisa"
"oh... air puteh..."
"ha. apa-apa la"
he stuttered back, "oh ho. ma'alish ya."
i swear he looked at the 2 glasses of ice cubes before he stuttered that.
few minutes later, on a tray, our savior.
ONE FUCKING GLASS OF WATER.
WHAT THE FUCK!!???!!
i thought,"how much dumber can you be?".
and reflexively, i chuckled.
but i seriously didn't mean it!
no, joking. was really meant as a rolling-on-my-ass laugh.
common sense dude...
2 glass of just ice cubes and 2 panting people.
ok. i know i'm bad at story telling but whatever.
next breaking news!
i've just brought in some dude between me and her.
just hope this guy is the right one to clear this up.
and she still ignoring me.
and a nightwalk along the mediterranean sea was breathtakingly beautiful.
throw away the annoying arab dudes and alexandria would be perfect.
effing idiot
and WHAT THE HELL???
all these time i've been thinking that "lifethesia" means "devoid of life"
turns out in "anesthesia", "a" means non. "esthe" means feelings or something and whatever does it means with "sia"
if that's the case, then "lifethesia" would means something like feeling of life.
and "alifthesia"...
lame gile... macam la nama aku alif.
on a second thought, "feeling of life" ain't sounds that bad either.
but what does it has to do with zombie?
all these time i've been thinking that "lifethesia" means "devoid of life"
turns out in "anesthesia", "a" means non. "esthe" means feelings or something and whatever does it means with "sia"
if that's the case, then "lifethesia" would means something like feeling of life.
and "alifthesia"...
lame gile... macam la nama aku alif.
on a second thought, "feeling of life" ain't sounds that bad either.
but what does it has to do with zombie?
fuck it.
my world is all about me and only me.
anything that has nothing to do with "me" or "mine" is nil.
i've always strive just by being alone.
i am an annoying bastard because i think everything else are irrelevant and should be used as stepping stones.
everything is about MY survival.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
...so not me. except the "annoying bastard".
point is?
i feel sleepy.
anything that has nothing to do with "me" or "mine" is nil.
i've always strive just by being alone.
i am an annoying bastard because i think everything else are irrelevant and should be used as stepping stones.
everything is about MY survival.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
...so not me. except the "annoying bastard".
point is?
i feel sleepy.
for the first time!
not. though it was one after a few weeks of sedentary life.
running along a windy sea is what i call living life!
one of the things i love about alexandria.
i swear i won't live any more further than 10 blocks from the mediterranean sea as long as i'm here in egypt.
but i really hope i wouldn't caught up with this one thing...
running along a windy sea is what i call living life!
one of the things i love about alexandria.
i swear i won't live any more further than 10 blocks from the mediterranean sea as long as i'm here in egypt.
but i really hope i wouldn't caught up with this one thing...
why is there a river?
i feel fucking pissed off and fucking bored.
where is the fucking sandbag?
-----
which one is right?
you missed something because you feel empty or you feel empty because you've missed something?
-----
i should stop writing in here too frequently.
out of idea for random thoughts, random craps keep popping out.
title is unrelated.
the idea of facebook was a lame one.
i don't know what does it have to do with anything in my real life?
you post pictures of yourself, post status of yourself, use your real name in anything in it, play some lame games with pathetic interface with "friends".
sounds whoring to me. thanks to it, i almost lose the anonymity of this site.
ok. i did get excited and pasted this blog in it. regretted it.
my god.
why am i so antisocial tonight?
sigh... sleep would be good...
-----
and maybe i should start twiddling with the "virtual drugs" i got last year.
time to buy a good headphone.
-----
so much mixed feelings in my head, i felt like screaming the hell out of the night but it was still fucking noisy outside that if i screamed, people would swarm around and start being annoying and the effect wouldn't be dramatic.
where is the fucking sandbag?
-----
which one is right?
you missed something because you feel empty or you feel empty because you've missed something?
-----
i should stop writing in here too frequently.
out of idea for random thoughts, random craps keep popping out.
title is unrelated.
the idea of facebook was a lame one.
i don't know what does it have to do with anything in my real life?
you post pictures of yourself, post status of yourself, use your real name in anything in it, play some lame games with pathetic interface with "friends".
sounds whoring to me. thanks to it, i almost lose the anonymity of this site.
ok. i did get excited and pasted this blog in it. regretted it.
my god.
why am i so antisocial tonight?
sigh... sleep would be good...
-----
and maybe i should start twiddling with the "virtual drugs" i got last year.
time to buy a good headphone.
-----
so much mixed feelings in my head, i felt like screaming the hell out of the night but it was still fucking noisy outside that if i screamed, people would swarm around and start being annoying and the effect wouldn't be dramatic.
quit it.
enough with the thoughts.
and she ain't anywhere near me, nor going near me.
go buy your things.
i am so a hypocrite i even omit things in my blog.
thank god i didn't lie.
and she ain't anywhere near me, nor going near me.
go buy your things.
i am so a hypocrite i even omit things in my blog.
thank god i didn't lie.
THE PAIN....
okay.
my ego has started to torture.
now i feel fucking bad to my self for everything i've did that could be associated with her.
should i give in and go destructive mode or should i just annoy somebody else?
AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGHHHHGHGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
my ego has started to torture.
now i feel fucking bad to my self for everything i've did that could be associated with her.
should i give in and go destructive mode or should i just annoy somebody else?
AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGHHHHGHGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
managed to have lunch with her
but i didn't get the skippy-jumpy feeling i should get when having conversations with her. or at least that was what i've been told.
maybe not yet. i'll let it go on for another week.
and she invited me to her home party BUT...
i declined it.
was it right for me to put dota with friends on top of the list?
oh i forgot. never turn around. if a selfish bastard i'm gonna be, then let it be.
it isn't like i'm gonna enjoy the party anyway. it would gonna be just like any other party i've been to.
makan-makan, dengar orang lain cakap benda yang aku tak faham.
kalau nasib baik, dapat chat dengan dia je.
kalau nasib baik...
if not, buat penat je.
screwed up enough?
and her friend. the one i had my interest once, the one who actually showed her feelings, she looks pissed off.
the GUILT...
it wasn't like she ain't pretty or things like that. she's cute. but sparks come on and off pretty randomly. and 2 1/2 months of no contact wasn't really helping.
but wth?! it wasn't like we had any kind of close relationship to begin with.
what with the "pfft. scums." look?
okay, i know i'm just speculating. though i really hope it was just an overreaction.
wait, now i looked like i'm overthinking.
sigh... time, do your magic. please.
and mike, thanks for butting in just at the right time.
u were a total lifesaver back then. macam mujahid.
but fuck u for not reminding me of my unfinished burger. (lol, jk. not really :P)
the wasted protein...
now, bracing myself for the gossip storm...
maybe not yet. i'll let it go on for another week.
and she invited me to her home party BUT...
i declined it.
was it right for me to put dota with friends on top of the list?
oh i forgot. never turn around. if a selfish bastard i'm gonna be, then let it be.
it isn't like i'm gonna enjoy the party anyway. it would gonna be just like any other party i've been to.
makan-makan, dengar orang lain cakap benda yang aku tak faham.
kalau nasib baik, dapat chat dengan dia je.
kalau nasib baik...
if not, buat penat je.
screwed up enough?
and her friend. the one i had my interest once, the one who actually showed her feelings, she looks pissed off.
the GUILT...
it wasn't like she ain't pretty or things like that. she's cute. but sparks come on and off pretty randomly. and 2 1/2 months of no contact wasn't really helping.
but wth?! it wasn't like we had any kind of close relationship to begin with.
what with the "pfft. scums." look?
okay, i know i'm just speculating. though i really hope it was just an overreaction.
wait, now i looked like i'm overthinking.
sigh... time, do your magic. please.
and mike, thanks for butting in just at the right time.
u were a total lifesaver back then. macam mujahid.
but fuck u for not reminding me of my unfinished burger. (lol, jk. not really :P)
the wasted protein...
now, bracing myself for the gossip storm...
nice...
cakap nak beli buku, tapi tak tunggu aku.
no matter, its physio in a cramped class anyway.
now, belanja mcd. (just hope i could say that)
yes, maintaining an inapproachable aura is much easier than trying hard to be sociable and getting emotionally hurt later.
told ya. a step nearer in becoming a heartless, selfish bastard.
and no more overdosing whey but that crap do taste like what i think would be crap.
buang rugi lak.
no matter, its physio in a cramped class anyway.
now, belanja mcd. (just hope i could say that)
yes, maintaining an inapproachable aura is much easier than trying hard to be sociable and getting emotionally hurt later.
told ya. a step nearer in becoming a heartless, selfish bastard.
and no more overdosing whey but that crap do taste like what i think would be crap.
buang rugi lak.
thats it
no more oh-happy-day-good-life thinking.
i knew that those girls were just a bad prank played by life on me.
besides, if they were really interested in me they could always start a conversation with me.
or is it just me in denial?
yes i am interested in you girls but please don't gang up on me.
it's so intimidati-
wait. what the fuck wrong with me? intimidated by girls?
ok. the fact that i never had a real, non dodgy relationships makes it hard to go get any one of them. or anyone else.
either its some scandalous mentor-mentee or adik-kakak angkat relationship.
or just some secret admirers that till hi-school graduate didn't even reveal themselves.
and some fan-ly thingy that i didn't even know how i could even have one.
hell what? do they even care?
I FUCKING HATE LIFE!!!! SCREW U!!!!!!!!!
PLEASE GOD LET ME BE A DICTATOR OF THIS WORLD JUST FOR A 100 YEARS!!!!!!!!!!
please....
i knew that those girls were just a bad prank played by life on me.
besides, if they were really interested in me they could always start a conversation with me.
or is it just me in denial?
yes i am interested in you girls but please don't gang up on me.
it's so intimidati-
wait. what the fuck wrong with me? intimidated by girls?
ok. the fact that i never had a real, non dodgy relationships makes it hard to go get any one of them. or anyone else.
either its some scandalous mentor-mentee or adik-kakak angkat relationship.
or just some secret admirers that till hi-school graduate didn't even reveal themselves.
and some fan-ly thingy that i didn't even know how i could even have one.
hell what? do they even care?
I FUCKING HATE LIFE!!!! SCREW U!!!!!!!!!
PLEASE GOD LET ME BE A DICTATOR OF THIS WORLD JUST FOR A 100 YEARS!!!!!!!!!!
please....
never look in pathology for women
next mission, make myself a cozy home. starting from my room.
a list of lots of things has been devised. basics first.
kotatsu table followed and a winter workstation would be the last and climax.
and then learn how to dance to techno.
raining just now and it feels like cuddle up in a comforter would be nice.
and when i mentioned nice, i meant like, HELL YEAH FUCKING NICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111
by the way, fantasizing things would be pathetic if the subject is reachable.
what is the point of dreaming things you could grasp?
impossible thingies.
that is what giving "dreams come true" a meaning, no?
also just realized my voice sucks.
now, how to ignore that...?
a list of lots of things has been devised. basics first.
kotatsu table followed and a winter workstation would be the last and climax.
and then learn how to dance to techno.
raining just now and it feels like cuddle up in a comforter would be nice.
and when i mentioned nice, i meant like, HELL YEAH FUCKING NICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111
by the way, fantasizing things would be pathetic if the subject is reachable.
what is the point of dreaming things you could grasp?
impossible thingies.
that is what giving "dreams come true" a meaning, no?
also just realized my voice sucks.
now, how to ignore that...?
one of those life-pranked days
everything went on smooth.
woke up on 6.
hot shower readied.
bowels cleared with a smile.
my ipod shuffled the most right song i could ever have on that morning.
a morning i could say, nice day.
until.
just realized ive miss-synched almost half of my playlist.
the lecture hall was FUCKING DAMN COLD.
realized i had practical till 2.
and they fucking switched on the ac even though outside temp was like 23.
20 mins of tummy spasm.
A WHOLE 4 HOURS OF FREEZING HELL.
cant concentrate for a good 3 hours chunk.
TORTURING 2 HOURS OF ALMOST POINTLESS COM MED.
and a non motivational ones too. they weren't there.
thinking that the day couldn't get any worse, i snuggled myself at the secluded corner, enduring the thoughts of enduring the cold while also hoping that for whatever reasons, i was hoping i won't see any of em this morning. (its a day before weekend. if i know the class would be like that i wouldn't come either.)
and there they were. brooding as unwanted people. fine, who cares if u guys came anyway. your money, your attendance. non of my business.
fuck.
now im all cool downed i dont even have the wants to put any rage in this rant.
would be a waste tho if im gonna delete these.
fuck la. kenapa mesti banyak benda yang nak kena buat datang sekali semua hari ni?
yep, one of those days.
feels like crap je.
woke up on 6.
hot shower readied.
bowels cleared with a smile.
my ipod shuffled the most right song i could ever have on that morning.
a morning i could say, nice day.
until.
just realized ive miss-synched almost half of my playlist.
the lecture hall was FUCKING DAMN COLD.
realized i had practical till 2.
and they fucking switched on the ac even though outside temp was like 23.
20 mins of tummy spasm.
A WHOLE 4 HOURS OF FREEZING HELL.
cant concentrate for a good 3 hours chunk.
TORTURING 2 HOURS OF ALMOST POINTLESS COM MED.
and a non motivational ones too. they weren't there.
thinking that the day couldn't get any worse, i snuggled myself at the secluded corner, enduring the thoughts of enduring the cold while also hoping that for whatever reasons, i was hoping i won't see any of em this morning. (its a day before weekend. if i know the class would be like that i wouldn't come either.)
and there they were. brooding as unwanted people. fine, who cares if u guys came anyway. your money, your attendance. non of my business.
fuck.
now im all cool downed i dont even have the wants to put any rage in this rant.
would be a waste tho if im gonna delete these.
fuck la. kenapa mesti banyak benda yang nak kena buat datang sekali semua hari ni?
yep, one of those days.
feels like crap je.
I'VE DONE IT!!!
ok.
yes it is plain and looks boring but the template is a real ease to change the colors.
i planned to change the blog's color according to my mood.
cover baik punya... =_=;
yes it is plain and looks boring but the template is a real ease to change the colors.
i planned to change the blog's color according to my mood.
cover baik punya... =_=;
one thing for sure...
facebook gives false impressions, or false hopes.
it confuses you with anything.
don't rely any relationship based on it.
someone add you, so what?
someone deleted you, and?
someone liked your status, umm... yay?
someone commented on it, do they actually care?
someone ignored whatever was your request,
and other unnecessary emotional assumptions I could come up with.
which one should I trust, somewhat dodgy facial expression (yet cute. XD) or wild, imaginatively deducted online actions?
or just learn more about them.
Should have ditched my facebook long ago.
now, enough emoing, here comes the showtime!
before that, speaking of "showtime", I FUKKEN SHOCKED when my friend said,
"Hatsune Miku" voice is digitally generated."
ok, not really that shocked but still quite a shocker. no wonder i just cant have any feeling fantasizing anything with that voice.
now, enough commercials, here comes the showtime!
before that, speaking of "commercials", i just hooked with SOAD's "CHIC 'N STU". call me so 2000 and late or anything but i just like the "BUTTER'S GETTING HARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111". and the "pepperoni and green pepper, mushroom olive chives".
now, enough commentaries, here comes the showtime!
ok, i do think the usage of "showtime" is kinda wrong.
whatever.
still searching for a new template.
need time for some new snapshots.
speaking of "snapshots", i really WANT the new samsung's camera. you know, the one with the front lcd. self whoring wouldn't be so stupid with that.
I see quite a lot interruptions in this post but,
WHO CARES? MY BLOG, MY POSTS, MY WAY.
wtf? why should i even get worked up with that?
now I'm confused, why did i typed my recent posts with a style set for some public articles?
reading back the pepperoni part, I'm getting hungry.
and yes, i realized my font is fukken ugly right now.
it confuses you with anything.
don't rely any relationship based on it.
someone add you, so what?
someone deleted you, and?
someone liked your status, umm... yay?
someone commented on it, do they actually care?
someone ignored whatever was your request,
and other unnecessary emotional assumptions I could come up with.
which one should I trust, somewhat dodgy facial expression (yet cute. XD) or wild, imaginatively deducted online actions?
or just learn more about them.
Should have ditched my facebook long ago.
now, enough emoing, here comes the showtime!
before that, speaking of "showtime", I FUKKEN SHOCKED when my friend said,
"Hatsune Miku" voice is digitally generated."
ok, not really that shocked but still quite a shocker. no wonder i just cant have any feeling fantasizing anything with that voice.
now, enough commercials, here comes the showtime!
before that, speaking of "commercials", i just hooked with SOAD's "CHIC 'N STU". call me so 2000 and late or anything but i just like the "BUTTER'S GETTING HARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111". and the "pepperoni and green pepper, mushroom olive chives".
now, enough commentaries, here comes the showtime!
ok, i do think the usage of "showtime" is kinda wrong.
whatever.
still searching for a new template.
need time for some new snapshots.
speaking of "snapshots", i really WANT the new samsung's camera. you know, the one with the front lcd. self whoring wouldn't be so stupid with that.
I see quite a lot interruptions in this post but,
WHO CARES? MY BLOG, MY POSTS, MY WAY.
wtf? why should i even get worked up with that?
now I'm confused, why did i typed my recent posts with a style set for some public articles?
reading back the pepperoni part, I'm getting hungry.
and yes, i realized my font is fukken ugly right now.
hate getting tired
it helps me to procrastinate.
and maybe once in a while ill try a vlog or slog.
writing a wall of text can be kinda dull.
and maybe once in a while ill try a vlog or slog.
writing a wall of text can be kinda dull.
and here i am thinkin i were special...
the only guy who went back to alex? no. there were 4 others. thanks to you guys tho.
the only one who bought an ipod? nope, bunch of my friends did, and why must purple???
whatever,
i was doing all brotherly to my lil bro and lil cousins hoping i wont regret anything but hey, i missed em already.
hugged my mum and grandma without any slight usuall oh-so-not-cool feeling and now im feel like staying in malaysia a lil bit longer.
and terima kasih ayah for helpin me with my pc, cleaning the mess i did, packing up all things, driving me to klia, thanks for everything!
i did feel my vac this year quite a boring one but on a second thought. a blast nonehteless.
tahun depan abang calarkan scooter 3 tayar ayah tu. huhu.
now, for egyptair. FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!
your food sucks! the beef is all leathery. your fried rice taste like shit, and why cant u give me a proper sized spoon? fukken idiot. if not for the cheap fare...
and learn to hire women.
and fuck you taxi driver. toll ngan minyak pun nak bekira. it was like we were hiring a driver and renting a car without having to show our licence. and try to speed, slowpoke.
and i have to go to class tomorrow. what a drag...
the only one who bought an ipod? nope, bunch of my friends did, and why must purple???
whatever,
i was doing all brotherly to my lil bro and lil cousins hoping i wont regret anything but hey, i missed em already.
hugged my mum and grandma without any slight usuall oh-so-not-cool feeling and now im feel like staying in malaysia a lil bit longer.
and terima kasih ayah for helpin me with my pc, cleaning the mess i did, packing up all things, driving me to klia, thanks for everything!
i did feel my vac this year quite a boring one but on a second thought. a blast nonehteless.
tahun depan abang calarkan scooter 3 tayar ayah tu. huhu.
now, for egyptair. FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!
your food sucks! the beef is all leathery. your fried rice taste like shit, and why cant u give me a proper sized spoon? fukken idiot. if not for the cheap fare...
and learn to hire women.
and fuck you taxi driver. toll ngan minyak pun nak bekira. it was like we were hiring a driver and renting a car without having to show our licence. and try to speed, slowpoke.
and i have to go to class tomorrow. what a drag...
too many cooks just spoiled my broth
last nite. i do appreciate things people would do for me but sometimes, please.
let me handle MY things, MY way, MYself.
the work was done fast but when there is a mistake, i have no one to blame (blaming others who helped me aint that appreciative?) and i dont know what went wrong as its not me who done it.
like fate.
but a good nite sleep fixed it anyway.
let me handle MY things, MY way, MYself.
the work was done fast but when there is a mistake, i have no one to blame (blaming others who helped me aint that appreciative?) and i dont know what went wrong as its not me who done it.
like fate.
but a good nite sleep fixed it anyway.
unfair world
though it isnt like it ever been fair for all i ever remember.
u r thrown in the crowd when u wanna be alone.
and u r alone when u need sumthin to hold on.
it says it did that for the best.
but the tell tale was sumwut, throwin u outside the nest.
anyway, just bought my self a ipod nano!
5th gen yo!
woohoo!!!....not.
so unfair. i want the silvercoloured and all there is was a purple pod.
meh. good enuf.
time for my mobo now. u better be there!
u r thrown in the crowd when u wanna be alone.
and u r alone when u need sumthin to hold on.
it says it did that for the best.
but the tell tale was sumwut, throwin u outside the nest.
anyway, just bought my self a ipod nano!
5th gen yo!
woohoo!!!....not.
so unfair. i want the silvercoloured and all there is was a purple pod.
meh. good enuf.
time for my mobo now. u better be there!
ill definitely gonna try this.
thx Omochao! awesome /k/tard u r.
White sauce spaghetti recipe can be various,marinara and carbonara...but
All right first thing first....all you need is.....
1.Spaghetti
2.Milk
3.Celery
4.Ham Slices
5.Carrots
6.Onions
7.Heavy cream
8.Olive oil
9.Butter
10.Egg
11.Cheese parmesan preferably or whatever cheese you like.
12.Bay leaf
THE SAUCE
The thing here is,you can either use heavy cream or full-cream milk from DUTCH LADY to cook the sauce...depending on your skills....If you're want a faster job,use heavy cream and adjust it by adding some water depending on your preference. No thickening/reduction will be needed to thicken the sauce as cream itself is thick when it reduces.
NEXT,TO ADD FLAVOUR INTO YOUR SAUCE!!!
When boiling the milk, you can add in CELERY, ONIONS, CARROTS AND BAYLEAF this 3 mirepoix and herb respectively will add flavour and smell to the sauce. Just cut them whatever shapes and sizes you like and then dump them into the sauce when you're boiling the cream or milk, just REMEMBER TO filter it out when you're about to adjust the seasoning and thicken it.
NEXT,YOUR SPAGHETTI!!!!!
Either you would like to cook it first and then served with the sauce OR boil the spaghetti until it is almost cook and then finish it in with the sauce once more...definitely the 2nd method will make the spaghetti taste much nicer.
NEXT,FINISHING THE SAUCE!!!!!!!!
After boiling it,you may now want to thicken it,you can either thicken it by...EGGS(egg yolk only or whole egg) OR CHEESE (definitely must be used as it is only known as carbonara if cheese is present). Just keep adding grated cheese into the milk or cream and let it simmer under medium heat and it will thicken up in no time. If you want to add in eggs as well, make sure IS NOT BOILING HOT OR ELSE THE EGG WILL COAGULATE AND FORMS PIECES!
Then add in butter for added aroma and then lastly the HAM BITS,you can either add in DURING cooking the sauce OR FRIED IT TO CRISP and then SCATTER IT GENEROUSLY on top of the spaghetti during serving,individual preference,for me I'll love it crispy so that it has the contrast during biting and chewing of the spaghetti.
Lastly,garnish it with french parsley and voila~..bon appetit!
thx Omochao! awesome /k/tard u r.
bored shadow yo
bored. MEGA BORED.
so i go shadowing sum people blogs.
its funny how does blogging may make sumone's life look so, colorful?
and funny how this could make another one's life look so lacking...
anyway, i'm kinda torn with so many things.
which mobo should i get, this or this?
should i go back alex early?
should i jog, in the middle of fasting?
should i go talk wif that girl?
should i leave my psp to my lil bro?
should i do this? should i do that?
whatever.
bored shadow yo.
so i go shadowing sum people blogs.
its funny how does blogging may make sumone's life look so, colorful?
and funny how this could make another one's life look so lacking...
anyway, i'm kinda torn with so many things.
which mobo should i get, this or this?
should i go back alex early?
should i jog, in the middle of fasting?
should i go talk wif that girl?
should i leave my psp to my lil bro?
should i do this? should i do that?
whatever.
bored shadow yo.
firmly undecided, oxy-wut?
guess what? i'm gonna come back home after all.
can't be helped. i really thought i could withstand the pure pressure of living in a harsh, foreign sea-desert without anyone i really knew.
and the thought of seeing the faces of mom and dad and the fear of my lil bro and his lil cousins just nudged me into the edge of evil laughter that, with the help of boredom, haunted me in my every waking hours.
the plan. fast here for at most 2 weeks (just for the kicks), buy ticket fly kl on the very first impulse before 31st, and fly home to jb. one hell of a plan, eh? *evil snickers*
ok.
not really a plan. i'll just follow the moderately impulsive me. rarely failed me.
its not really fun here anyway. summer here sucks. to. the. max. period
i thought when i've finally settled in my friend's house freeloading, life would be much less stressful.
still living on the run. last time from dr. torque (hmmhmm...). now, from the pakcik jaga rumah. he doesn't understand english and i can't speak arabic. i could choose to ignore but he have the authority. the power. and he showed it last nite by cutting out the electricity. thank god just for a 20 minutes. turned out he was asking if there was anybody next door. (it's not a random blackout. i swear i saw the lights from next door turned off after we got back ours.)
needless to say i'm gonna freeload this guy's house till my homeys came back from their umrah.
on the way to here, something intriguing happened. there was a funky looking dude offered me whiskey. turned down but he INSISTED. and i was TEMPTED. if not for my homey was there, maybe, just maybe i could have took a sip. that failed, out the religion card.
"sorry but i'm a muslim."
"really? what is your name?" (notice he was asking this without any apologetic tone or anything that suggested any)
"harith."
butt in my homey, "ahmad."
"oh, my name is muhammad jaafar and that one is my friend, muhammad. we are also muslims."
AT THIS MOMENT, i just wanna ask "and why are u offering me a bottle of shady looking whiskey wrapped in a plastic bag?"
hell, there were so many questions in my mind but just couldn't be bothered when there was a fuckload of weight strapped on my shoulder.
"nice to meet you", and i ignored.
oh wait, did i just sound all religious just now? but i really wanna have a taste of those so called wretched drinks.
out of curiosity that is.
fuck it.
i really hope God wouldn't take me into these kind of situations again.
well, maybe He already helped by having my homey to be there too.
damn, maybe that whiskey was doped...
but i really wanna taste it. ok, maybe some red wine?
hmm...
firmly undecided, oxy-wut?
can't be helped. i really thought i could withstand the pure pressure of living in a harsh, foreign sea-desert without anyone i really knew.
and the thought of seeing the faces of mom and dad and the fear of my lil bro and his lil cousins just nudged me into the edge of evil laughter that, with the help of boredom, haunted me in my every waking hours.
the plan. fast here for at most 2 weeks (just for the kicks), buy ticket fly kl on the very first impulse before 31st, and fly home to jb. one hell of a plan, eh? *evil snickers*
ok.
not really a plan. i'll just follow the moderately impulsive me. rarely failed me.
its not really fun here anyway. summer here sucks. to. the. max. period
i thought when i've finally settled in my friend's house freeloading, life would be much less stressful.
still living on the run. last time from dr. torque (hmmhmm...). now, from the pakcik jaga rumah. he doesn't understand english and i can't speak arabic. i could choose to ignore but he have the authority. the power. and he showed it last nite by cutting out the electricity. thank god just for a 20 minutes. turned out he was asking if there was anybody next door. (it's not a random blackout. i swear i saw the lights from next door turned off after we got back ours.)
needless to say i'm gonna freeload this guy's house till my homeys came back from their umrah.
on the way to here, something intriguing happened. there was a funky looking dude offered me whiskey. turned down but he INSISTED. and i was TEMPTED. if not for my homey was there, maybe, just maybe i could have took a sip. that failed, out the religion card.
"sorry but i'm a muslim."
"really? what is your name?" (notice he was asking this without any apologetic tone or anything that suggested any)
"harith."
butt in my homey, "ahmad."
"oh, my name is muhammad jaafar and that one is my friend, muhammad
AT THIS MOMENT, i just wanna ask "and why are u offering me a bottle of shady looking whiskey wrapped in a plastic bag?"
hell, there were so many questions in my mind but just couldn't be bothered when there was a fuckload of weight strapped on my shoulder.
"nice to meet you", and i ignored.
oh wait, did i just sound all religious just now? but i really wanna have a taste of those so called wretched drinks.
out of curiosity that is.
fuck it.
i really hope God wouldn't take me into these kind of situations again.
well, maybe He already helped by having my homey to be there too.
damn, maybe that whiskey was doped...
but i really wanna taste it. ok, maybe some red wine?
hmm...
firmly undecided, oxy-wut?
empty home, funny though
no ones here except 3 of us seeking refuge.
me and another guy just squatting here for internet.
another one just waiting for his flight tomorrow.
ok, there r actually 4 of us. this other guy also waiting for his flight.
know what? tedata fucked up last nite. NO INTERNET FOR THE WHOLE FUCKING NITE.
i do realize, internet is one of the major ties that binds me to this world.
can't imagine what would happened if there's another cut for another 24 hours.
we played softball with a damned steel stick and a damned ripped ping pong ball.
we decorated a fucking empty room into a fucking bapok's room.
i've salvaged everything my homies left. hangers, rugs, psu, mech pencil leads, fucking 5 penny and sum other craps.
because i can's find random things from the internet, i make em.
tired looting, stared at the emptiness. loneliness r scary...
heck, the rooms even already giving out these, abandoned house aura.
and dr. tork, the landlord, could come here anytime. damn. we're supposed to get lost yesterday. officially squatting.
once a place i could rest in peace is now a forsaken realm.
empty home, funny though
me and another guy just squatting here for internet.
another one just waiting for his flight tomorrow.
ok, there r actually 4 of us. this other guy also waiting for his flight.
know what? tedata fucked up last nite. NO INTERNET FOR THE WHOLE FUCKING NITE.
i do realize, internet is one of the major ties that binds me to this world.
can't imagine what would happened if there's another cut for another 24 hours.
we played softball with a damned steel stick and a damned ripped ping pong ball.
we decorated a fucking empty room into a fucking bapok's room.
i've salvaged everything my homies left. hangers, rugs, psu, mech pencil leads, fucking 5 penny and sum other craps.
because i can's find random things from the internet, i make em.
tired looting, stared at the emptiness. loneliness r scary...
heck, the rooms even already giving out these, abandoned house aura.
and dr. tork, the landlord, could come here anytime. damn. we're supposed to get lost yesterday. officially squatting.
once a place i could rest in peace is now a forsaken realm.
empty home, funny though
changing world, useless me.
just woke up.
yea yea its 11 am. how pathetic is that? can't be helped though. with all these holidays and nothing much to do.
changes, changes, changes. i hate those.
i just hate it when it comes to changes.
all plans go haywire. my body clock turned into chaos.
my emotion started to stray. a mind all drifted away.
especially during the transition time. in this case, moving out of my current apartment.
packing things r just so tiresome. scanning the whole messed up room for possible left out things is also really cumbersome.
and it hasn't even comes yet to get used to my new apartment. MEGA BOTHERSOME. (though the new one is way better than this cesspool.)
summer is nice, but it becomes boring when there's no people to have it together with. all these free time r useless.
talking about useless, and free time, i've already missing out two things that i can consider big. pc fair and the isa protest.
pc fair. i really didn't think about this. haven't decide to buy any comp that time.
isa protest. well, maybe not really significant to me. its all about that corrupt government. ironically, i'm leeching their money right now...
wonder when will the corrupt "people's people" going to get guling-ed.
its not really the fault of PR though. IT'S THE PEOPLE. everyone is so racist.
some malays r so laid back. thank god not laid back enough to not defend their ketuanan. i feel really strongly about the ma-, wait, MY ketuanan melayu but the way current government enforce that policy is just so imbalance. so unfair towards other races. the enforcement is only beneficial to CERTAIN PEOPLE.
i don't really know about the other races but for sure there is so little unity exist.
*sigh*
my head splits when i'm thinking about these kind of things. fuck it. i'll do my part when i can vote.
changing world, useless me...
yea yea its 11 am. how pathetic is that? can't be helped though. with all these holidays and nothing much to do.
changes, changes, changes. i hate those.
i just hate it when it comes to changes.
all plans go haywire. my body clock turned into chaos.
my emotion started to stray. a mind all drifted away.
especially during the transition time. in this case, moving out of my current apartment.
packing things r just so tiresome. scanning the whole messed up room for possible left out things is also really cumbersome.
and it hasn't even comes yet to get used to my new apartment. MEGA BOTHERSOME. (though the new one is way better than this cesspool.)
summer is nice, but it becomes boring when there's no people to have it together with. all these free time r useless.
talking about useless, and free time, i've already missing out two things that i can consider big. pc fair and the isa protest.
pc fair. i really didn't think about this. haven't decide to buy any comp that time.
isa protest. well, maybe not really significant to me. its all about that corrupt government. ironically, i'm leeching their money right now...
wonder when will the corrupt "people's people" going to get guling-ed.
its not really the fault of PR though. IT'S THE PEOPLE. everyone is so racist.
some malays r so laid back. thank god not laid back enough to not defend their ketuanan. i feel really strongly about the ma-, wait, MY ketuanan melayu but the way current government enforce that policy is just so imbalance. so unfair towards other races. the enforcement is only beneficial to CERTAIN PEOPLE.
i don't really know about the other races but for sure there is so little unity exist.
*sigh*
my head splits when i'm thinking about these kind of things. fuck it. i'll do my part when i can vote.
changing world, useless me...
sore losers.
i admit that i am one.
last night, we had a paintball session. capture the flag.
yeah it's all fun and messy but this one guy,
we already have bullets raining on him but yet, he still going after the flag.
he even consorted to "*raise up hands* mati! mati!" yet still frantically walking to our flag and grab it (he was supposed to be dead anyway coz that fucker just rushed towards our flag go all terminator wif our bullets). the ref is one stupid guy who don't know rules. quickly declared his team as the winner when he should run back to his base to claim the flag.
he just fukken jumping there like a girl yelling "menang! menang!".
guess what? i rained headshots on him till ref blew the whistle.
sweet revenge.
regretted it though because its just the second game and i've already emptied all my bullets on that fucker.
it pissed me off even more when he dare to brag about it from hardee's till way back home and i bet he'll be doing that tomorrow too. fine, no one of us has been really playing paintball ever anyway.
i wish mine were real bullets...
the facility sucks. weird, overlarge "protective" vest, lousy, blurry helm and sucky gun wif so little ammo. wtf?! did they expect me to save ammo, snipe people wif that sucky gun i had? screw u!
last night, we had a paintball session. capture the flag.
yeah it's all fun and messy but this one guy,
we already have bullets raining on him but yet, he still going after the flag.
he even consorted to "*raise up hands* mati! mati!" yet still frantically walking to our flag and grab it (he was supposed to be dead anyway coz that fucker just rushed towards our flag go all terminator wif our bullets). the ref is one stupid guy who don't know rules. quickly declared his team as the winner when he should run back to his base to claim the flag.
he just fukken jumping there like a girl yelling "menang! menang!".
guess what? i rained headshots on him till ref blew the whistle.
sweet revenge.
regretted it though because its just the second game and i've already emptied all my bullets on that fucker.
it pissed me off even more when he dare to brag about it from hardee's till way back home and i bet he'll be doing that tomorrow too. fine, no one of us has been really playing paintball ever anyway.
i wish mine were real bullets...
the facility sucks. weird, overlarge "protective" vest, lousy, blurry helm and sucky gun wif so little ammo. wtf?! did they expect me to save ammo, snipe people wif that sucky gun i had? screw u!
death is scary. so is loneliness
it has been 3 days that ive been having these, nightmare of being killed and then my souls been ripped from my body but hell no, i aint going anywhere but just stood there looking at my own blasted/hanging/mutilated body.
well, ure suppose to wake up at even the tinniest moment of fear/pain right? ok, maybe not the tinniest bit but wtf man?! ur like, fukken dead! i was supposed to wake up! but nope.
during my ghost moment, sumhow, i feel like i could walk around do things that i WANT to do. yeah. lucid dream. the dream of dreamers. but it is actually a nightmare.
yes i can control my body but the fact (in those dreams) that I AM DEAD was really bothering me.
ever watch the movie "Awake"? it feels like that except that the fact that u r already dead and u cant do anything about that. some might think like "Oh gawd cool! ill be the most badass poltergeist ever exist! damn world, u r wrong for leaving me stuck like this" but no. i can see those people in my dreams but i cant do anything to them. ill just go thru them like mist.
at that time, i feel like there is no purpose for me to linger in this world but why the fuck must i still exist here? yes i can see people fuck and all but because im dead, i dont have the means to do so right? its like, im stuck wif porn but have no chance of actually doing them and stuck fapping by myself till god knows how long. sucks eh?
and then i started thinking things like cant go hungry, cant get all sakit perut, wont age but dont have anyone to show it to. stay healthy but wif no pruductive things to do, HAVE ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD BUT DONT HAVE ANYTHING TO DO! I CAN STEAL BUT CANT USE THOSE THINGS I STOLE! I FEEL SO ANGRY BECAUSE I CANT DO THINGS NOT BECAUSE I CANT DO THEM BUT THERE IS JUST NO PURPOSE IN DOING SO!
i felt so angry and torn. all those hatred and anguish.
and then comes the worst part.
for being so useless and purposeless yet still exist like that, its normal for me or anyone to think of something to put a reason, albeit rational one in this case, into what am i doing here. but yet, none.
i tried to look for someone else like me but also to no avail.
confused, bewildered.
i cried.
i started to feel my tears and at that exact moment, i woke up.
oh my god. never feel so grateful for being alive. thank god. but woke up during like, 10 am. x subuh...
and that was on the first night. the same goes on on the second night and yesterday's.
normally, a repetition of an event would make it boring or u just feel like "oh that is so yesterday" but no.
well, ure suppose to wake up at even the tinniest moment of fear/pain right? ok, maybe not the tinniest bit but wtf man?! ur like, fukken dead! i was supposed to wake up! but nope.
during my ghost moment, sumhow, i feel like i could walk around do things that i WANT to do. yeah. lucid dream. the dream of dreamers. but it is actually a nightmare.
yes i can control my body but the fact (in those dreams) that I AM DEAD was really bothering me.
ever watch the movie "Awake"? it feels like that except that the fact that u r already dead and u cant do anything about that. some might think like "Oh gawd cool! ill be the most badass poltergeist ever exist! damn world, u r wrong for leaving me stuck like this" but no. i can see those people in my dreams but i cant do anything to them. ill just go thru them like mist.
at that time, i feel like there is no purpose for me to linger in this world but why the fuck must i still exist here? yes i can see people fuck and all but because im dead, i dont have the means to do so right? its like, im stuck wif porn but have no chance of actually doing them and stuck fapping by myself till god knows how long. sucks eh?
and then i started thinking things like cant go hungry, cant get all sakit perut, wont age but dont have anyone to show it to. stay healthy but wif no pruductive things to do, HAVE ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD BUT DONT HAVE ANYTHING TO DO! I CAN STEAL BUT CANT USE THOSE THINGS I STOLE! I FEEL SO ANGRY BECAUSE I CANT DO THINGS NOT BECAUSE I CANT DO THEM BUT THERE IS JUST NO PURPOSE IN DOING SO!
i felt so angry and torn. all those hatred and anguish.
and then comes the worst part.
for being so useless and purposeless yet still exist like that, its normal for me or anyone to think of something to put a reason, albeit rational one in this case, into what am i doing here. but yet, none.
i tried to look for someone else like me but also to no avail.
confused, bewildered.
i cried.
i started to feel my tears and at that exact moment, i woke up.
oh my god. never feel so grateful for being alive. thank god. but woke up during like, 10 am. x subuh...
and that was on the first night. the same goes on on the second night and yesterday's.
normally, a repetition of an event would make it boring or u just feel like "oh that is so yesterday" but no.
consuming hatred and evil masterplan...
truth is, from last november up till now, i've been skipping laptops because mine is busted.
imagine 8 months of sufferings i have to endure those dislikeness toward the guy who busted my 100h, the owner of the current laptop, and internet explorer.
try using google document to do assignments and viewing pdf, and can't use fucking anything but those inside the damned accessories folder.
he only allowed me 7zip (so he can unpack his emulator games), skype (lucky he also use it to v-chat with his family), and yahoo messenger (most of the time logged to his account).
and all those jaga hati moments.
oh god, the hatred.
but, as of next year we'll be moving out to different house, i've schemed a plan. change his password and lock him out of his own lappy.
as for the guy who busted my laps, he'll suffers another day.
haven't slept since last night. fuck with all these evil scheming.
and fuck the splel chcker for flailing. nao i cant maek my rants look hi class. :P
imagine 8 months of sufferings i have to endure those dislikeness toward the guy who busted my 100h, the owner of the current laptop, and internet explorer.
try using google document to do assignments and viewing pdf, and can't use fucking anything but those inside the damned accessories folder.
he only allowed me 7zip (so he can unpack his emulator games), skype (lucky he also use it to v-chat with his family), and yahoo messenger (most of the time logged to his account).
and all those jaga hati moments.
oh god, the hatred.
but, as of next year we'll be moving out to different house, i've schemed a plan. change his password and lock him out of his own lappy.
as for the guy who busted my laps, he'll suffers another day.
haven't slept since last night. fuck with all these evil scheming.
and fuck the splel chcker for flailing. nao i cant maek my rants look hi class. :P
A wasteful day...
oh, why me?
really should stop postponing errants.
did i care? no. too tedious la. must i care? hell yeah i have to!
skipped workout.
missed the appointment wif prof.
and the plan on wasting my day at the lib and buyin that sneakers i want?
yeah. those too.
*sigh*
RESOLUTE. RESOLUTE. RESOLUTE!
i wonder if i could survive for another year here...
fuck fathalla for selling me almost tasteless peach at an exorbitantly overcharged price.
and hope my homeys wont get a stomach ache tomorrow. if they did, tough luck. thats what u guys get for leaving me wif spoilt rice yesterday.
really should stop postponing errants.
did i care? no. too tedious la. must i care? hell yeah i have to!
skipped workout.
missed the appointment wif prof.
and the plan on wasting my day at the lib and buyin that sneakers i want?
yeah. those too.
*sigh*
RESOLUTE. RESOLUTE. RESOLUTE!
i wonder if i could survive for another year here...
fuck fathalla for selling me almost tasteless peach at an exorbitantly overcharged price.
and hope my homeys wont get a stomach ache tomorrow. if they did, tough luck. thats what u guys get for leaving me wif spoilt rice yesterday.
u make my temperature rise like, el nin- oh wait...
weird song... hot tho...
but seriously, today is so fukken hot, it makes me feel angry at EVERYTHING!
fukken summer always so random. especially the breezes.
and have no carbs to fill my stomach with. the damn rice was spoilt. like sampah je...
lucky the other dishes my homeys cook were tasty. ratah lauk. nasib.
and the tech market here sucks. sucks, TO TEH MAX!
lame mobo. no matx. only kingston, VALUE rams. seagate hdds. and it was like, there's only 1 4870X2 in the whole damn place. hello? where's the gtx285?
seems like my rig would have to be bought from kl.
AND DAMN U MALAYSIA'S GIGABYTE DISTRIBUTOR 4 NOT BRINGING IN THE GA-E7AUM-DS2H.
WHAT'S THE HELL WRONG WIF IT?
where the hell am i gonna get that. seriously don't wanna opt for just 9300. altho its just a temp rig but at least i would wanna hand it over to my lil bro wif pride.
and i seriously have to go see my prof for that freakin repeat fee.
don't wanna repeat year again... taubat.
too much free time makes me thinking about useless junks all the time.
maybe ill go to teh uber library to kill time and go shopping- no. that just feels wrong...
BUY that sneakers i've been eyeing last week. (yeah, now that sounds more manly)
oh man. macam kaya gila. just some "borrowed" money by the way.
but seriously, today is so fukken hot, it makes me feel angry at EVERYTHING!
fukken summer always so random. especially the breezes.
and have no carbs to fill my stomach with. the damn rice was spoilt. like sampah je...
lucky the other dishes my homeys cook were tasty. ratah lauk. nasib.
and the tech market here sucks. sucks, TO TEH MAX!
lame mobo. no matx. only kingston, VALUE rams. seagate hdds. and it was like, there's only 1 4870X2 in the whole damn place. hello? where's the gtx285?
seems like my rig would have to be bought from kl.
AND DAMN U MALAYSIA'S GIGABYTE DISTRIBUTOR 4 NOT BRINGING IN THE GA-E7AUM-DS2H.
WHAT'S THE HELL WRONG WIF IT?
where the hell am i gonna get that. seriously don't wanna opt for just 9300. altho its just a temp rig but at least i would wanna hand it over to my lil bro wif pride.
and i seriously have to go see my prof for that freakin repeat fee.
don't wanna repeat year again... taubat.
too much free time makes me thinking about useless junks all the time.
maybe ill go to teh uber library to kill time and go shopping- no. that just feels wrong...
BUY that sneakers i've been eyeing last week. (yeah, now that sounds more manly)
oh man. macam kaya gila. just some "borrowed" money by the way.
a new start? yeah right...
haha!
the heat already got into my head it seems.
wtf?! a blog?!
oh well, instead of stalking some emotionally faraway people, maybe it's better if i start making a blog.
besides, where must all the rants/complains/daydreaming go, eh?
all these procrastination are boring me anyway.
rants aside. in comes formality.
Hi everybody! Hi Blogspot! It is really nice to meet ya all!
=_="
the heat already got into my head it seems.
wtf?! a blog?!
oh well, instead of stalking some emotionally faraway people, maybe it's better if i start making a blog.
besides, where must all the rants/complains/daydreaming go, eh?
all these procrastination are boring me anyway.
rants aside. in comes formality.
Hi everybody! Hi Blogspot! It is really nice to meet ya all!
=_="
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