thats it

no more oh-happy-day-good-life thinking.
i knew that those girls were just a bad prank played by life on me.
besides, if they were really interested in me they could always start a conversation with me.

or is it just me in denial?
yes i am interested in you girls but please don't gang up on me.
it's so intimidati-

wait. what the fuck wrong with me? intimidated by girls?
ok. the fact that i never had a real, non dodgy relationships makes it hard to go get any one of them. or anyone else.

either its some scandalous mentor-mentee or adik-kakak angkat relationship.
or just some secret admirers that till hi-school graduate didn't even reveal themselves.
and some fan-ly thingy that i didn't even know how i could even have one.

hell what? do they even care?

I FUCKING HATE LIFE!!!! SCREW U!!!!!!!!!
PLEASE GOD LET ME BE A DICTATOR OF THIS WORLD JUST FOR A 100 YEARS!!!!!!!!!!
please....