my family!
one of the things i wish i don't have to hate them for it is the lack of respect towards others' privacy.
i don't know if it was just my parents but i don't really have my own room, since forever.
i understand if they want me to share room with my brother when i was 12 but please...
they would rather make the other 2 rooms as store rooms where all those junks could be stored elsewhere. for example, the whole lots of cabinets?
mom? oh she was just the classic privacy-invader plus, being able to monger all the gossips to her friends, making me sounds like a bigshot DORK. i don't mind being a jerk though.
try to resist the temptation of revealing the family secrets at least till i am already in alex.
i was just upstairs doing studies while you down there freaking read my fb status out loud!
my bro? he was a pure jerk. he always have this notion of "whenever i'm out of his sight, i am up to something".
yes i was. i was in the toilet SHITTING.
oh hell no. he thought i was jerking off.
it's kinda ok if any of his plan on busting me, actually busting me but he is also a dumbass for making me look bad when what i did was being innocent. why the dumbass? he never tries anything when i am actually jerking off.
dad? same like my bro but a little more considerate.
maybe i'll take it back. he would suddenly doing spot checks rummaging through my laptop for porn.
ok maybe not that invasive. no.
but he still have another kind of annoyance.
i don't have any of this kind of problem, YET, with my youngest bro and my sis.
my sis? if only she could work out to get in shape, and not being a hypocrite, i would have adore her.
my youngest bro? he is adorable while he is still a kid.
i swear if this blog was ever gonna get exposed, i'll shut myself from the internet for at least 6 months.
it was worth every little bit of my strength
shaky knee, cramping thighs, seared neck, scratched arms, reddish armpit, swollen toes, aching shoulder,
and some other kind minor of mental trauma.
what did i get?
increased stamina, improved self esteem and some nice physique.
xde barang tinggal, xde spek hilang (bengkok sket la but nobody's perfect right?)
new hobby, mountain climbing!
i'll try wall climbing too. (but another time la.)
next hike, i'm going to train first, and now i know what i should get prepared
what to bring what to wear
what to DO.
penat la nak pikir bebanyak.
i'll continue with this tomorrow.
and before that, bring a journal and ingat ipod or walkman.
btw, melaka is ulu.
i take that back.
and some other kind minor of mental trauma.
what did i get?
increased stamina, improved self esteem and some nice physique.
xde barang tinggal, xde spek hilang (bengkok sket la but nobody's perfect right?)
new hobby, mountain climbing!
i'll try wall climbing too. (but another time la.)
next hike, i'm going to train first, and now i know what i should get prepared
what to bring what to wear
what to DO.
penat la nak pikir bebanyak.
i'll continue with this tomorrow.
and before that, bring a journal and ingat ipod or walkman.
btw, melaka is ulu.
i take that back.
so many pretty girls...
she was FUCKING PRETTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111111111111111111111111111111111
and YES! we do share feelings.
ok... maybe not.
oh hell! who cares?
for all i know, she might be thinking, "ala kenapa la dia ni asyik pandang-pandang aku ni? senyum sket la. mana tau dia stop."
me? "oh my fucking god yes please make eye contact with m- THANK YOU FOR SMILING PRETTY PONYTAIL GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
i know the world don't revolve around me only. but tonight, i'm changing my mind about something.
i have nothing to lose. NOTHING.
so, i'm going to express whatever i'm thinking, or feeling, HONESTLY, SINCERELY.
i will not bother myself with something like, "fuck if i talk to her what would she think of me?" *stare somewhere far looking indifferent* or *mess with my lil bro* or *whatever stupid, cover macho punya stunt*
nope. non of that anymore.
i see pretty girl, i go to her in a not creepy way and say,
"hey! i noticed you were taking looks at me. no! i mean, you are quite pretty and i find you quite interesting. i'm harith by the way." =D
or,
"hi awak! sori la kalau saya buat awak tak selesa tapi saya rasa awak cantik sangat, jadi... saja nak kenal! saya harith. awak?" =D
or something along the lines with these.
yeah yeah freaking creepy but like i've said, i will not care about it anymore. apa nak jadi, jadi la...
god if only my family weren't there...
wha- what? tak related? who even said it was?
anyway, gunung ledang!
IMMA COMING FOR YA!
oh man i can't wait to record my face reading this post tomorrow morning.
and YES! we do share feelings.
ok... maybe not.
oh hell! who cares?
for all i know, she might be thinking, "ala kenapa la dia ni asyik pandang-pandang aku ni? senyum sket la. mana tau dia stop."
me? "oh my fucking god yes please make eye contact with m- THANK YOU FOR SMILING PRETTY PONYTAIL GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
i know the world don't revolve around me only. but tonight, i'm changing my mind about something.
i have nothing to lose. NOTHING.
so, i'm going to express whatever i'm thinking, or feeling, HONESTLY, SINCERELY.
i will not bother myself with something like, "fuck if i talk to her what would she think of me?" *stare somewhere far looking indifferent* or *mess with my lil bro* or *whatever stupid, cover macho punya stunt*
nope. non of that anymore.
i see pretty girl, i go to her in a not creepy way and say,
"hey! i noticed you were taking looks at me. no! i mean, you are quite pretty and i find you quite interesting. i'm harith by the way." =D
or,
"hi awak! sori la kalau saya buat awak tak selesa tapi saya rasa awak cantik sangat, jadi... saja nak kenal! saya harith. awak?" =D
or something along the lines with these.
yeah yeah freaking creepy but like i've said, i will not care about it anymore. apa nak jadi, jadi la...
god if only my family weren't there...
wha- what? tak related? who even said it was?
anyway, gunung ledang!
IMMA COMING FOR YA!
oh man i can't wait to record my face reading this post tomorrow morning.
wo wait what?!
just now it was 0630 and everything was dark and silent and tranquil and all but suddenly,
BOOM goes the radio full blasted.
then my bro and sis start to wake up, lurking for breakfast.
mom and dad came out of their bedroom, mom for breakfast and dad for work.
i looked at the window, it's already bright. the clock?
wo wait what?! 0700?!
30 minutes and everything moves so quick, SUDDENLY.
eid mubarrak seems to pass unseemly.
just like that and everything is nothing. from kampung to my house.
oh well.
at least i know that i do have a hot for indian girls, chinese girls, kadazan girls, and my cousins, and their friends.
thanks mom for having so many friends with pretty daughters!
and for a secret relationship, it was sure short-lived.
i am dying to say, "you look so cantik in that purple kebaya!"
i want to SAY that to you. not type it or imply it or facebook it or skype it or whatever.
too bad we are so far apart in distance and heart.
i really have to stop being carried away...
BOOM goes the radio full blasted.
then my bro and sis start to wake up, lurking for breakfast.
mom and dad came out of their bedroom, mom for breakfast and dad for work.
i looked at the window, it's already bright. the clock?
wo wait what?! 0700?!
30 minutes and everything moves so quick, SUDDENLY.
eid mubarrak seems to pass unseemly.
just like that and everything is nothing. from kampung to my house.
oh well.
at least i know that i do have a hot for indian girls, chinese girls, kadazan girls, and my cousins, and their friends.
thanks mom for having so many friends with pretty daughters!
and for a secret relationship, it was sure short-lived.
i am dying to say, "you look so cantik in that purple kebaya!"
i want to SAY that to you. not type it or imply it or facebook it or skype it or whatever.
too bad we are so far apart in distance and heart.
i really have to stop being carried away...
reminisce
mom started to tell stories of our childhood.
how my lil bro was a little troublemaker.
how my lil sis was a crybabay.
how my youngest bro was the most mom-dependent.
how i was a model brat.
i obeyed everything what any authoritative figures told me.
mom said, "masuk kelas". i sat in my chair listening to teacher obediently.
mom said, "jangan gaduh kat sekolah". i never fight back.
dad said, "jangan menangis". i never cry about it since then.
teacher said, "you should enter the quiz. you have potential".
pe teacher said, "masuk tenis"....
ok i lied about that one. it's actually badminton but tennis would sound more awesome.
hey. i do play tennis and quite half-good at it.
and never a rebellious moment.
well, considering i went intohell boarding school.
no way... i did rebel...
all those fence climbing. i did break into the staff room just to play games. cracked the public computers into gaming machine, hence converting the foyer into cyber cafe. broke into warden office and brought back all those confiscated things. view porn just for the sake of it.
what was i thinking?
point is, how things can change.
or just being pointless.
and yeah. selamat hari raya.
won't be seeing you in a while diachan. (balik kampung! ^_^)
1 more thing worth reminiscing,
how i used to enjoy raya... time does fly by with all the joy and fun.
how my lil bro was a little troublemaker.
how my lil sis was a crybabay.
how my youngest bro was the most mom-dependent.
how i was a model brat.
i obeyed everything what any authoritative figures told me.
mom said, "masuk kelas". i sat in my chair listening to teacher obediently.
mom said, "jangan gaduh kat sekolah". i never fight back.
dad said, "jangan menangis". i never cry about it since then.
teacher said, "you should enter the quiz. you have potential".
pe teacher said, "masuk tenis"....
ok i lied about that one. it's actually badminton but tennis would sound more awesome.
hey. i do play tennis and quite half-good at it.
and never a rebellious moment.
well, considering i went into
no way... i did rebel...
all those fence climbing. i did break into the staff room just to play games. cracked the public computers into gaming machine, hence converting the foyer into cyber cafe. broke into warden office and brought back all those confiscated things. view porn just for the sake of it.
what was i thinking?
point is, how things can change.
or just being pointless.
and yeah. selamat hari raya.
won't be seeing you in a while diachan. (balik kampung! ^_^)
1 more thing worth reminiscing,
how i used to enjoy raya... time does fly by with all the joy and fun.
feelings aside
being here in malaysia gets me into a mood to reminisce every pieces of my past.
haha ok. not really. it's just me.
i'm not the kinda guy who take changes and farewell well.
they hit hard, but weirdly quick.
sometimes depressingly quick.
minor details? give me around 2 weeks and i'll forget about it while wondering where does these tears coming from.
most of the time i'm glad it happens that way but sometimes, it's annoying.
you know what, they way things has been going on,
i don't understand.
wait no.
more like, CAN'T understand. it seems too hard to do it while having my own probs to deal with.
i tend to shut off things like that but shutting yours,
sorry. can't help it.
haha ok. not really. it's just me.
i'm not the kinda guy who take changes and farewell well.
they hit hard, but weirdly quick.
sometimes depressingly quick.
minor details? give me around 2 weeks and i'll forget about it while wondering where does these tears coming from.
most of the time i'm glad it happens that way but sometimes, it's annoying.
you know what, they way things has been going on,
i don't understand.
wait no.
more like, CAN'T understand. it seems too hard to do it while having my own probs to deal with.
i tend to shut off things like that but shutting yours,
sorry. can't help it.
you're like a drug
yes! i miss you so much, i can't stop checking messenger for you and there are these, itches, or an urge to bother you whenever you are online.
and i can't say that to her now, can i?
sometimes i don't know why would i put my ego into something like this.
i just won't learn, do i?
damn la. padan muka banyak kena dumped.
and i thought her would be different.
just like every other girl...
hey! it's the past and i did get over them already, ok.
and what's more pathetic is when she sounded concern (or freaked out) about whatever stupid things i did, some lame ass excuse easily came out.
when i felt guilty about it, i don't actually have the will to apologize, till it's too late.
do note that this already happens when things are just something casual.
not even a full-blown relationship.
no. i'm not over-react or over-caring or over-analyzing anything.
FUCK
THERE I DID IT AGAIN
and i can't say that to her now, can i?
sometimes i don't know why would i put my ego into something like this.
i just won't learn, do i?
damn la. padan muka banyak kena dumped.
and i thought her would be different.
just like every other girl...
hey! it's the past and i did get over them already, ok.
and what's more pathetic is when she sounded concern (or freaked out) about whatever stupid things i did, some lame ass excuse easily came out.
when i felt guilty about it, i don't actually have the will to apologize, till it's too late.
do note that this already happens when things are just something casual.
not even a full-blown relationship.
no. i'm not over-react or over-caring or over-analyzing anything.
FUCK
THERE I DID IT AGAIN
i feel like an ass
i'm trying so hard to get her attention, i ended up changing my messenger status for like, 4 times, without realizing how stupid that is with so much people online.
and i feel like my constant spamming is ticking her off.
i don't REALLY know but i just felt like it.
maybe i'm just overanalyzing or overselfconcious or whatever.
hell.
maybe i should just stop stalking her, make that "i miss you" feeling grows so much that when she comes back from her home to alex, i could use that feeling to actually ask her out or... i don't know...
talk to her?
EDIT: 7/9/10
this is extremely harder than i thought
and i feel like my constant spamming is ticking her off.
i don't REALLY know but i just felt like it.
maybe i'm just overanalyzing or overselfconcious or whatever.
hell.
maybe i should just stop stalking her, make that "i miss you" feeling grows so much that when she comes back from her home to alex, i could use that feeling to actually ask her out or... i don't know...
talk to her?
EDIT: 7/9/10
this is extremely harder than i thought
it doesn't really matter. really.
what's that you were talking about?
whatever.
just know you are there is comforting enough.
whatever.
just know you are there is comforting enough.
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