always a limit in pushing the limit

i'm in so much despair, feel like burning down the whole world.

i don't feel any hatred or envy or greed or sadness or anything.
just feeling helpless and despair.
you know, lack of hope of somekind. (heck. even explaining this shit puts me deeper into this shit-mind-hole i'm in.)

but why the whole world?
nothing. just for kicks.
i don't know about anyone else but me, my mind only thinks of creating chaos.
for the sake of sharing. :P

hurting shoulder
broke
hard-to-maintain lies
mounting expectations
looming exams
messy bedroom
hungry mites infestation
crappy yet barely affordable food
boring people
uninterested girls
uninteresting girls
painful shoulder (yes. intended repetition)

and so many other minor details.
usually, i can always shrug the occasional depression by working out.
more depression = more weight
more weight = overtraining
thus, the sore shoulder.
some googling showed that this kind of injury would cost me fucking 6 weeks of almost non-utilizing rest.
i want to visit a chiropractor, so much. doesn't matter except for pain management. (i didn't fucking know my rotator cuff would be THIS weak... another exercise regime i guess.)

all this shit makes me wonder if sex could actually help relieves things but i don't actually have the balls to ask a girl, don't have the heart to commit, don't have the will to beat faith, and can't be bothered to deal with those protecting that faith (i know it's not theirs' but you know... people... >.>).