nak tido

i don;t know if its some kind of depression attack or what but everything seems so boring and dull.
i don;t have any drive or motivation to do things i usually enjoy doing.

just feel like sleeping.
just sleep.
nothing else.
i don;t know about waking up, but i do sure feel like wanting to sleep.

and i don;t know if this is caused by me depriving myself of sleep or its really my head doing things.
or was it the winter?
or that orange lights?

what the hell. why bother thinking about all this?

bye

these, were the draft post i've made yesternight when the dudes who are in charge of my internet went full retard and shut it down for a full 24 hours. motherfucker...

it's the sleep deprivation.

all those while i am secluded from the internet, i resorted to musics. browsing my harddisk, stumbled into my ragnarok online folder.
/BGM, dub click some random tracks.
made me realize how i am actually kinda addicted to musics.
i don't really know how to describe this. once, whenever i listen to some tracks, i would get this nice, fuzzy, tingly sensation.
as if i was able to withdraw from reality and into my own fantasy.
now. i barely feel it.
all those time have made me wonder why that happens and so many theories i've came up with that seems like nonsense. then, i look to

fuck this shit. i'm not really in the mood of explaining science and shit.
tl;dw, i wish i am 12. at least 14 la.