airhead

wow
being all alone in this even tiny apartment could make me so suffocated by loneliness.
fine, i never said i'm a guy who cope well with solitariness.
it's not like i can't live without people.
more like, it's kinda hard to adapt myself to this newfound privacy. (hell yeah! you don't know what i can do in the living room...)
i think afraid of changes is more appropriate though.

even though i've gotten all the freedom currently available for me now, the fact that i have no one to flaunt it just demotivate me from doing anything stupid.


it always fun taking a dump while fully naked and with the toilet door wide open.
thank god it's summer so i have to open all the windows.
but these diarrhea really getting on my nerves. lucky i never had one in any of my exams.
speaking about diarrhea, i really want to have another taste of that appic-tomyum-kai.
no no no. it's not the tomyum that gave me that nasty appendicitis. it's the steamed snapper i bet. *denialdenial*
anyway, i still have 3 more exams to go. the repeat papers. sial la...
and i still can't decide whether i want to stick with my desktop anymore or sell it.


now i start to love this loneliness.
no wait- there's another word for it. same meaning as lone but with a brighter mood...
even though i feel insecure, uncertain, i do get a feeling of comfort. a sense of belonging.
feel like no one could bother me anytime now.
like, i have all the liberty and rights to do anything i want here in this, home(?).
^_^
this reminds me the time in my 1st year where i had a room all by my self.
even though there is still study stress, there is also calmness.
if only this place is cleaner... (that reminds me to buy plastic bags and rubber gloves)

*sigh*
deep down, i still want her.
ok. not exactly her. i just wish i have someone who would hug me.
especially at times like this. i don't know. i'm still 21. my conscious says, "it's too troublesome. x payah la" but yet, the moments my ego guard is down, my subconscious would project things like, random girl giving me a warm hug or kiss. it was so real...

actually, there are lots of things running through my head currently but i just don't have the will to write them down. it feels like all those thoughts would be nice to entertain but yet it would be unproductive and this, makes me demotivated. both to write em down and my general me.

how i crave for malaysian food.