tanggang

i'm such an ungrateful kid.
i LIED to my parents about not wanting to go back this summer hols.
i told them it's about  money problem. my dad ask if it's okay for him to send me some.
i am such an idiot! it isn't like my family is poor or something.
i didn't tell them about how i failed both of my surgery and internal medicine. how i want to "make up" for it.
i thought it was only 1 year since i was back home. seems like it's already been 2 years.
mom told me to study hard but what did i do all this time? skip classes just to laze around playing games.

this is why i don't really like skyping with my family. it made me realize how PATHETIC i am.
and i know ill never be able to study all these shit alone.

i don't know if ill make this alone.

i don't know if ill even make it.

i don't know what the fuck am i doing most of the time.

now, i'm not so sure anymore about what's in the future.

worst, deep inside, i don't feel like knowing or caring anymore.